Chapter
3
“I'm
homosexual... How and why are idle questions. It's a little like wanting to
know why my eyes are green.”
It
seems like once you come out of the closet, people automatically question your
sexual orientation. I get typical questions like “How do you know you’re gay?”
or “How do you know you like girls if you never tried doing it with a boy?”
Some of these questions are laugh out loud funny while others are annoying and
straight out disrespectful. In the beginning of realizing about one’s
homosexuality, be prepared on getting bombarded with these questions.
[My
male cousin and I are in the living room watching TV. A passionate scene comes
up where a man and a woman are kissing]
Male
cousin: Why don’t you like boys?
Me:
What do you mean?
Male
cousin: Well you’re gay. I mean how can you say you’re a lesbian if you never
did it with a guy?
Me:
The same reason why you say you’re straight and never did it with a guy.
Male
cousin: I don’t know…I just think you’re confused and you need to get some…
Me:
Oh really? Well if that’s the case then how do you know you’re really straight?
That’s like me telling you to go sleep with a guy. I mean would you sleep with
a guy?
Male
cousin: No I’m not gay.
Me:
Exactly, because you were born to be attractive to girls. I mean telling me to
go sleep with a guy is like me telling you “how do you know if you’re straight
if you never did it with a guy?” Do you want to do it with a guy to see how it
feels like?
Male
cousin: No I’m good.
Me:
Thought so…
Being
asked about my sexuality feels like I’m answering countless of open ended essay
questions. After a while I feel like pulling my hair out. Of course some of
these people are just simply curious and they can’t help it if they tend to ask
annoying, naive, idiotic, ignorant, or stupid questions.
[My
uncle and I are in the kitchen talking about how I’m doing in school, and my
well being.]
Uncle:
[after a long pause] So…Denise…How can lesbians have sex if they don’t have the
guy’s penis?
[I
slowly looked up at him, wondered whether or not I actually heard him ask me
that question]
Me:
Uh, it’s easy. [Awkward pause] They use their hands and stuff…
Uncle:
Oh I see…
I
really don’t mind answering those types of questions but I do have limitations.
Its one thing that you’re wondering about my realization of being a lesbian and
it’s another if you’re patronizing my orientation. To all my rainbow brothers
and sisters, it’s only just a phase so bear with it. It’s not what questions
you’re being ask, it’s how you respond to those questions. So be patient and
just shrug it off.
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