Chapter 14
At the beginning of this month, I officially turned 22. A lot of my friends were excited for me becoming older, but of course it is just another birthday after all. But that's not what I'm going to talk about.
The more I think about me becoming older, the more I think about the progress I've made as an LGBT individual. You see, it's been four years since I officially came out as a lesbian and I have to admit I did a lot of growing up throughout the years. It has been an emotional roller coaster but I'm actually proud of who I am and who I've become.
What have I learned as an LGBT individual? Well there's a tough concept called forgiveness in my part. Throughout the years I have seen the true ugly side of people, including my own family, when it comes to the LGBT community. I've learned that in order to start your own path and start the process of loving, I mainly have to learn how to forgive the people who brought so much negativity into my life because of my orientation.
It is extremely difficult, especially since I tend to hold grudges against people. Of course as my step dad would tell me from time to time, having that kind of level of hate in your heart really does a number on your emotional health. Rainbow brothers and sisters, I'm not saying to just turn your cheek to your enemies and let them give you a hit or two, I'm just saying that sometimes in order to move on you just have to let some things go. Too much emotional baggage will not help you move on in your life.
Another thing that I've learned is to accept the ugly truth. What I have come to terms with is the fact that I might not be able to introduce my future wife to my family at all since they still are against the fact that I'm a lesbian. In fact, even my aunt told me that she'll only come to my wedding if I married a man. I mean, it is sad and it does hurt my feelings but at the end of the day, I'm not changing myself for any one's satisfaction. If my family doesn't want to remain in my life then so be it.
Of course, one lesson that I have always followed is that no matter how strong you may be, there is nothing wrong with having a strong support group behind you. There's so much weight a person can carry until they end up breaking down. I have those moments where I've felt incomplete and useless but Trisha and Teresa never fail to remind me of what I have done and accomplished. I believe that behind every great individual, there's always a support group behind them to keep cheering them on.
I do have a couple of goals in mind for the future. Right now I'm focusing on finishing up college since I am a semester away from graduating. I feel really accomplished for keeping up with my education since I will be the second person in my family and the first person in my generation to be graduating from college. I'm also adding more to my resume since I'm planning on doing as much internships as I can which will hopefully help me with my career.
To my rainbow brothers and sisters, take the time and reflect on how much you have grown over the years. You might be surprised on how far you've come as an LGBT individual. Keep on going and stay strong.
*following article was published on The Scribe newspaper on November of 2012
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