It really does suck being fooled by someone. It's even worse when your own friend is being fooled by someone who clearly is using them but for some reason that friend doesn't see it. Based on my experience, I have a friend who can be a bit blind sometimes when it comes to having her relationships with people. How can anyone tell if they're being used or not? Well it's simple if you start to notice a couple details of how people behave around you.
You Always Text the Other Person to Hang Out
Do you have a feeling that the person you hang out with never seems to text you to hang out? Are you the one who's always trying to get the person to pend time with you like going for a ride or even to their dorm to chill? This should be a tall tell sign that they simply don't want anything to do with you unless they can get something out of it. This leads me to my next point...
The Person Only Texts You When They Need Something
Have you noticed that the person you want to hang out with only sticks around whenever they need something from you? Do they text you for favors such as asking for a car ride or to hang out at the mall for a bit so they can buy some stuff for themselves? It may not seem like you're being used at first since everyone needs to do a favor every now and then. But if this habit is continuous, looks like you're going to need to find someone else who won't use you to get things.
Your "Friend" Is Nice To You When They Get Their Way, Mean To You When They Don't
Take a moment and think about your friend's behavior. Do they get really friendly and buddy - buddy with you when they're getting what they want? What happens if they don't? Do they stop replying to your texts and ignore you for the rest of the day? Do they give you the silent treatment, expecting you to apologize? Do you feel like you're being manipulated to do things that you normally don't want to do? This should be a clear sign that you're being used.
You're in Denial About Being Used
When someone confronts you about your friend using you as a puppet, do you tend to deny it and get defensive? Do you immediately come up with excuses on how or why that friend acts the way they do? Congratulations you are being used completely. Not only are you refusing to admit that there is a possibility that you are being used, you possibly feel ashamed and/or angry at yourself for letting someone treat you like that. It's ok; it's not your fault. The first step to solving your problem is to accept the fact that you're being controlled.
Your Real Friends Tell You You're Being Used
The number one sign a person can tell if they are being used is when their own friends confront them about the issue. Your friends probably had some sort of intervention about how your friend has been treating you. If you see your close friends doubting the person's relationship to you, you need to step back and re-evaluate the situation.
*Following article was published in The Scribe newspaper on October of 2012
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