My Life as a Rainbow: Being a Gay Christian

Chapter Six

Around the time when I came out of the closet, my aunt told me I had to choose being a Christian or staying as a lesbian since I couldn't be a gay Christian. I told her being gay wasn’t a choice and making me do so was stupid. Of course her automatic response came out with a hostile “You’re going to hell”.



With my family’s reaction to me being a lesbian I ended up becoming atheist for a bit since I started hating Christianity for their lack of acceptance for homosexuality. I thought to myself what kind of a god would hate someone just because of their sexual orientation.

For the past couple of months I felt even more alone and depressed as I thought my life wasn’t worth living. I constantly thought about my purpose being here and a couple times tried to commit suicide. One day I decided to pray to God, I had enough with all the feelings of being worthless and I wanted to be in peace with Him again. I didn’t care what my aunt said or what she thought.

It was a long talk but afterwards I finally felt better as if all those negative feelings were washed away. I kept thinking about how he sees homosexuals so I decided to test him to see if what my aunt said was true. I prayed to him about finding the right woman for me to be with. I wanted a woman who was kind and loving. I wanted someone who was laid back and likes to laugh. Couple weeks later, I ended up meeting with my future girlfriend name Samantha.

At first I only wanted to be friends with her but months went by and we ended up being closer and finally being in a relationship. After all that, if God really “hated” homosexuals then he wouldn’t have found Sam for me.

Ever since then, I’ve went back to my Christian ways and I continued to be devoted to Him. I pray constantly to him, thanking him for putting Samantha in my life. As a Gay Christian I couldn’t be happier with how my life has been going. To all my rainbow brothers and sisters, don’t let anyone influence how you live your life. Also, God does love each and every single one of us. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

*following article was published on October 2011 in dgotay.tumblr.com